I was taught about self love, conceptually.
My self esteem has always been high.
I don’t worry too much about what other people think,
or being in the “in” crowd.
I’m an introvert, so I’m good with me,
most of the time.
However, real self adornment, self infatuation, (not to be confused with narcissism),
self worship and truly meeting my divine feminine nature, I knew nothing about,
until this year.
I never honored my monthly blood.
Even after I become a Mother 3 years ago, I didn’t say a prayer to my yoni,
or celebrate my womb as the sacred vessel of life it is.
Fortunately, I have always tapped into my creative powers, longings and musings.
This was what clued me into the fact that there was, and has always been a missing piece.
This was a deep worship and reverence of my sovereign nature.
The highest form of self love and self care.
Something I have practiced with undertones of self neglect, really.
Being self sufficient is one thing, being independent.
But being a magnet for my infinite potentiality,
now that’s where the answers lie.
Not because it sounds wonderful, but without it, my dreams will always just be a distant idea.
The reality of who and what I am and want to be in the world.
This by no means undermines the incredible life I have created and the wonderful person I am,
it is to simply say, there is
A luscious life full of REAL sensual pleasures.
In the past I have clung to false pleasures of the outer world,
even through what I thought was sacred or healthy.
As well as using mind altering substances to again,
create a false sense of a deeper connection or independance.
I am just at the tale end of being sick, something that doesn’t happen to me much.
It was bad timing, I had many plans to get a big portion of an important project I am working on completed.
Or so I thought.
I have been thinking a lot about my idea of “self care” over the years
and without judgement, how it is no longer serving me, or maybe never was.
This time out, embracing whatever I was being offered as a gift to pay attention to,
gave me great pause.
It isn't the content I need to create to attract the clients, students, community and satisfaction.
It’s definitely not the social media posts, workout routine or happy hour meetings,
that I am missing the mark on.
It’s the inner musing, the worship of who I am calling in.
The invoking of my inner Muse to inspire the radiance of ME to be even more brilliant.
Digging deep, reaching higher, a burning down and blossoming out of…
Living and breathing this potentiality that is whatever I want it to be.
An example of what’s possible.
A holder of sacred space.
A sensual Goddess.
A sovereign Priestess.
A humbled servant of divine love.
A magical Mother.
A vibrant lover.
Who will you be when your dreams come true?
How will she walk and talk?
What activities will she engage in?
Who will she spend time with?
What feelings will she invoke in others.
How is she inspired?
How does she care for her self when she’s not well?
How does she celebrate?
I’ll tell you,
like a Queen Of Fucking Everything.
And so are you.
I harness my magnetic power and open to my infinite potentiality! -Sofia Thom