Problems to Power

Everything is perspective.

Struggles are real,

but challenges turn victims into hero’s.

It’s not the absence of fear that creates courage,

yet the ability to move through it that invites transformation.

A problem is defined as: a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.

Bingo.

Problems aren’t circumstances we let control our lives.

Problems are situations to deal with and overcome.

Complaining, blaming and taking the roll of the victim are not solutions.

This type of inactive behavior does nothing but reinforce the presence of the problem.

Why do we choose to act this way?

It’s instant.

There is little efforting required.

We think it makes us feel better.

It temporarily relives us of our responsibility for all of our thoughts, feelings and actions.

It postpones the inevitable tasks of facing our emotions and setting up boundaries.

Dealing with our problems means we have to use emotional maturity.

We have to take power over how we decide to feel,

and allow other’s to choose the same for themselves.

Taking control and responsibility over what we can in our lives reinforces the habit of thinking on purpose.

This is the act of decrement.

Know what you can change and what you can’t.

When it comes to other people, you do not have control over them,

and they do not have control over you.

Not how you think, feel or act.

Someone’s actions may influence a thought,

but it is always ultimately up to you to decide to think that thought,

no matter how automatic it may seem.

When faced with a problem, spend some time discovering your thoughts about it.

How you are choosing to think.

An example of this could be: I don’t have enough time for exercise.

This is a result of how I am choosing to spend my time.

My thoughts are prioritizing other things.

They are also determining when I go to bed and when I wake up.

I need to understand that 24 hours in a day is a fact that I can not change,

but I do have control over how I spend those hours.

This gives me the power back over my “problem” of limited time, discerning facts from thoughts.

Committing to waking up earlier or going to sleep earlier is the first way to gain more hours.

Time tracking for a week to see where I can trim some fat of unneeded tasks,

is another great way to gain more time.

Problems to power is about asking what is important enough to prioritize.

If I am unwilling to take make the changes necessary

and the problem persists,

the other option is to change my thoughts and allow it to be okay.

This way of problem solving at first can seem overwhelming and not fair.

But when we decide to live like an adult that has free will and critical thinking,

we will start to easily see how managing the mind

is the only way to be in control of life.

I have an 8 week program called From Problems To Power.

I take you step by step through the necessary actions in an effort to getting to know you better,

what you have control over and what you don’t, and how to feel good about all of it.

Taking responsibility for every part of your life can bring up feelings of anxiety and fear.

This just means you are getting closer to the truth.

If you are interested in being the boss of your own life,

I will invite you to a free heart to heart mini coaching session.

Life is a wild, amazing ride.

You can choose to hang on to the outside flailing around as the wheel of change keeps spinning,

or you can decide to sit calmly in the middle, allowing and observing as change moves around you,

like a beautiful setting sun.

In this process you will find,

there’s room for you here.

In inspiration,

Mary xo

contact me here.

What have you done for me lately?

I’ll try this again.

I am getting better at Self Care, slowing but surly.

I’m great at doing what I want to.

What makes me happy.

What fulfills my creative needs.

It’s the slowing down when I need it most.

As far as when I really need to be pampering my self.

Take some quiet time for conscious relaxation.

The days where I feel a little rage,

or hormones are coming on strong.

Instead of taking a bath and reading,

I tend to be destructive.

This may involve spiraling about how to get out of here,

to a place where there are no thoughts.

(which is just my own head)

Or drink alcohol to buffer.

Or have a rich meal to feel something other than chaos.

Of course, it doesn’t work.

It makes me mentally and physically sick.

The worry, more than anything I could put into my body.

However, awareness is the first step to transformation.

I recognize this little demon the second she shows up.

I have come far enough in my process, that I can make friends with her.

And the length of her stay is much shorter than it use to be.

I am learning kindness and compassion for her.

I am learning that she doesn’t want to be fed with anger and worry.

What she is longing for is a deep, long, cathartic hug.

Permission to know it’s okay to take a day off

from being on.

I practice the work I offer others, daily.

But it doesn’t mean I don’t have old patterns.

On the contrary,

actively working on myself makes me a better coach.

My mentor, Brooke Castillo, says life is 50/50.

No matter how much you accomplish,

or how much you have.

Your emotions are going to be 50% positive

and 50% negative.

But the negative is no longer bad once you make friends.

It’s all the same.

You learn to love all of it.

And it informs you.

Even in a spiral where nothing is really “wrong”.

It’s just an opportunity to go to the movies,

to treat yourself to a long bath,

to get your nails done or take a nap.

Whatever allows you to just be

in the living of life.

I also have some huge things coming in the new year.

They are exciting and scary.

I am really putting myself out there for success

and the resistance,

the self limiting talk is showing up,

as I knew she would.

I had my day.

There are no regrets.

Now it’s time to tighten my laces,

put on some Janet

and get to work.

finding vibhuti

2018 was my year of saying yes,

to all of the things I usually say no to.

You can’t transform if you don’t change.

It’s not possible.

I am a hands on learner.

I can read books and watch videos,

but the essence for me is in the pulse of life connection.

It’s also hard for me to connect to a community virtually,

but I have. And that feels good too.

Every time I close my eyes for conscious breathing,

I realize I have all of the answers I will ever need

and also, that I know absolutely nothing at all.

I was invited to attend a sisters circle last night.

When I heard about it, I was intrigued.

I have very little experience as an adult in a group of women

on an intimate level.

It is something I am actively seeking.

But of course,

when the time came,

I could have easily stayed home.

I didn’t know what to expect really.

I may know one or two of the sisters, but not close.

But, this is my year and I have to put in the work

when the offer is so blatently presented.

I bought some dark chocolate as an offering.

Brushed my hair.

Had an early dinner with my sweetheart and off I went.

I am not a shy person,

in fact, I have no problem meeting most people.

I am however an introvert and never get lonely,

which is why staying home is always the easier option.

The details of the entire event are not what is important here.

However, I was gifted a very special sacred powder manifest from the hands of a revered Guru.

Blessed by enchanting Priestess named Amethyst.

I felt the subtle layer of my body where I hold my deepest truths, soften.

I cried.

I signed so deeply that I could see the basket of arms for the game of trust I have been longing to experience with a group of women open eternally for me.

Needless to say, it was life altering.

I didn’t know anyone.

But I knew every single one of them by heart.

If I didn’t say yes,

I would have been in my pajamas

listening to a podcast

working on my watercolors.

All great things.

But things I have done before and will have the change to again.

If you want your life to look different,

you have to step outside of your comfort zone.

You have to say yes to the things that knock on your door.

Put your coat on

and go for a walk.

It always turns out way better than you could have possibly imagined.

Next time you wish your life was different,

ask your self when was the last time you changed?

Christmas in Mexico

This is what I want the title of my memoir to be.

As it would be the ideal description of my life.

Sparkling lights.

Religious iconography.

Perfect sunsets.

And of course, margaritas.

I look for plane tickets to some location that is not my home usually weekly.

I never book a flight.

But knowing I could if I wanted to makes me somehow feel better.

That if all else fails,

I’ve got an out.

Wrong.

Fat chance.

I’ve been there, and done that,

too many times to count.

If I can live on the beach and teach yoga,

everything will be amazing.

If Im in a country steeped with cultural tradition and art,

I will feel more alive and connected to spirit.

Where siesta are encouraged,

and a 6 day work week is a way of life.

Where families live together and support one another

until it makes sense to go off on their own.

Everyone has their own “Christmas in Mexico”,

but we all know that;

where ever you go, there you are.

The, If I just had this one thing, then everything will be amazing, syndrome

is a way of life for many of us.

It’s only the momentary tequila buzz or sea breeze sun salutation

that convinces me it would change everything.

Running away to a new house, a new country, a new partner or a new job,

changes nothing about who you are on the inside.

How you control your thoughts.

How you stay motivated and encouraged.

How you offer compassion to yourself and others.

Unless you are in an abusive situation, you really can be happy anywhere

because emotions are based on thoughts, not circumstance.

Do you have preference? Yes.

Are there things that suite your skills better? Absolutely.

My mentor, Brooke Castillo, of The Life Coach School says, change nothing until you’re happy.

Other people and things don’t create your happiness, your thoughts do.

If you believe if free will,

then you should believe you have the freedom of what you choose to think.

Will people be jerks? Yep.

Will your job be boring? You can guarantee it.

But it still does not choose your thoughts for you.

I choose to find joy and contentment in the act of being alive.

If I have expectations of someone,

it is my responsibility to make sure they know that and are in agreement with it.

If I want to feel more successful with work and making meaningful connections,

I need to get my self out there and take a step in the direction of the greatness I seek.

It will not happen with me tucked away watching Netflix.

Be the bad ass boss that you are.

In control of your thoughts and feelings.

And then, when there are random acts of kindness in the world, bonus.

Trust me, when you start taking care of you the best,

leaving things in the world better than you found them,

you are in a state of allowing abundance to come your way.

Expect nothing, work your butt off and you will receive more than you ever thought possible.

This doesn’t mean I don’t plan on spending Christmas in Mexico,

because that sounds amazing.

But it might mean a Margarita in the snow may be a new tradition.

The happiness I seek only exists in one place.

And I don’t need to get on a plane to find it.

Salud!