Renovating your mind.

Most people don’t know I own a residential remodeling company.

My role is limited, but I do cut tile, answer emails and review bids.

It’s amazing that people send 10’s of thousands of dollars to fix things that aren’t broken.

We take pride in keeping old homes beautiful and functioning, in restoration rather than demolishing,

but the aesthetic pleasure one gets from a newly tiled bathroom,

is fleeting, at best.

Remodeling in many ways is like coaching,

except managing your thoughts and mind,

will actually create real, long lasting pleasure and the skill to allow for all of life’s ups and downs.

When someone wants to remodel their bathroom they get excited.

They start dreaming about this new luxury.

They start Pinning things,

matching colors, tile, accessories.

By using their mind alone and thoughts, before the demo has even begun,

they are already experiencing more feelings of joy and satisfaction.

They make the plan,

save the money,

and hire a professional.

Together the clients and the contractor finalize practical designs, based on their needs and likes.

They get creative, negotiate a price

and get to work.

There is open communication throughout the process of obstacles and decisions that need to be made.

The clients have work they must do for the final product to be the result they want

and the contractor has to show up to fulfill the contract and hold space to keep the project flowing.

The bathroom is complete and beautiful beyond words.

The clients couldn’t believe that space they once loathed, could be so clean, tidy and almost therapeutic.

Showers are now a spiritual experience of self care and adoration.

However, time goes on, soap scum covers the new glass shower door

and the once sparkling grout begins to fade and look dull.

The luster had been lost and forgotten.

The couple has an argument and unspoken agreements about who is responsible for the maintenance of this

new luxury that was suppose to bring so much joy, taking all of their troubles away.

Debt from the project becomes a source of stress and one of the kids is failing at school.

The only things the shower now offers is a place to hide from the world,

but now it holds with it a gentle sting of the promise of a new day that ceased to deliver.

This tale starts to sound grim, but the point is,

life is 50/50, ups and downs ALWAYS.

No matter how expensive your tile is, or how much money you have,

or how few wrinkles you have or how much you weight, or how many flowers your lover buys you.

Until you invest in your mental health, there is not one thing you can change in your world that will take the sometimes subtle sting of life away.

You have to learn to create your own joy from your thoughts, and manage your sadness through a process of allowing.

Get creative.

Start Pinning the life you Think will make you happy

and start living like the person that already has all of those things.

If your thoughts about them can create a sense of joy,

your thoughts about all of your blessings now can too.

If you can’t quite hit the nail,

hire a professional to help you organize the project of renovating your mind.

My name is Mary Wagstaff, I am a mind body coach.

My mission is to keep the beauty and health of your wonderful mind that already exists

through love, appreciation and restoration, not demolition.

You’ll also save a ton a money in the later route to happiness.

When you find the happiness you seek inside, then lets’ talk tile.


Get Cozy: How to keep the darker days full of light

It's so important to put seasonal sadness in it's place, as it is something that happens to many people.  It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.  Allow your self to feel the feels and invite new ways of warmth and light into your life.  Community, nature and exercise are all natural endorphins, add a new class into your weekly schedule. Movement and sweating are my favorite ways to beat the blues or learn a new skill.  Read a book that inspires you, there are so many things out there to help you create more joy in your life, find what fills you up and learn about it.  Open up that writing journal. Writing is the best way to get out of your head, move through you emotions with ease and understand what they have to teach you.  It's really one of the only ways to truly get to know your mind.  Drink a warm beverage at night(instead of booze).  Alcohol is a depressant, not to mention a buffer for unwanted emotions.  When we cover up our feelings with false pleasures, we never get to figure out how to feel with ease and they usually come back bigger and badder the next round.  It's okay to be down, what's the worst that can happen? Plus tea is medicine and a warm mug between your hands feels so good. Go for a nature walk. I love to hike in every season.  It's the best way to stay grounded.  When we have too much distance from the natural world, I feel like it's easy to lose site of what's really important.  To me that is love and connection. Notice how the cool weather opens up the senses in a different way.  Jump in some puddles. Playing and having fun for funs sake is something we really loose out on as adults, we really take ourselves way too serious.  I've yet to meet a kid with seasonal sadness... Host a game night.  Another great way to get in touch with your innocents, make your house warm with laughter and a little healthy competition. Bake something.Filling the house with smells from a warm oven and a little fluffy comfort never hurt any one.  While your at it, bake two and share it with your neighbor.  Giving is the yolk of humanness and creates positive vibes for your mind.  Bust out the crock pot. Nothing soothes the soul like homemade soup.  Make art!  Whether it's music or painting, working your creativity muscles is the perfect way to stay positive. Also...pop some vitamin D and grab a few full spectrum light bulbs. If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here to help you stay motivated and connected to your goals!