What have you done for me lately?

I’ll try this again.

I am getting better at Self Care, slowing but surly.

I’m great at doing what I want to.

What makes me happy.

What fulfills my creative needs.

It’s the slowing down when I need it most.

As far as when I really need to be pampering my self.

Take some quiet time for conscious relaxation.

The days where I feel a little rage,

or hormones are coming on strong.

Instead of taking a bath and reading,

I tend to be destructive.

This may involve spiraling about how to get out of here,

to a place where there are no thoughts.

(which is just my own head)

Or drink alcohol to buffer.

Or have a rich meal to feel something other than chaos.

Of course, it doesn’t work.

It makes me mentally and physically sick.

The worry, more than anything I could put into my body.

However, awareness is the first step to transformation.

I recognize this little demon the second she shows up.

I have come far enough in my process, that I can make friends with her.

And the length of her stay is much shorter than it use to be.

I am learning kindness and compassion for her.

I am learning that she doesn’t want to be fed with anger and worry.

What she is longing for is a deep, long, cathartic hug.

Permission to know it’s okay to take a day off

from being on.

I practice the work I offer others, daily.

But it doesn’t mean I don’t have old patterns.

On the contrary,

actively working on myself makes me a better coach.

My mentor, Brooke Castillo, says life is 50/50.

No matter how much you accomplish,

or how much you have.

Your emotions are going to be 50% positive

and 50% negative.

But the negative is no longer bad once you make friends.

It’s all the same.

You learn to love all of it.

And it informs you.

Even in a spiral where nothing is really “wrong”.

It’s just an opportunity to go to the movies,

to treat yourself to a long bath,

to get your nails done or take a nap.

Whatever allows you to just be

in the living of life.

I also have some huge things coming in the new year.

They are exciting and scary.

I am really putting myself out there for success

and the resistance,

the self limiting talk is showing up,

as I knew she would.

I had my day.

There are no regrets.

Now it’s time to tighten my laces,

put on some Janet

and get to work.

The Heart Is A Muscle, Work It.

This is the tagline of the kettlebell gym I went to today.

Knowing the name of the gym is, Bleeding Hearts,

I’m sure the statement has multiple meanings to them as well.

This to me is everything.

I am a Mind Body Coach.

This means I believe that all of the parts of our experience support one another.

The body supports the mind.

And the mind, the body.

But inside of all of that wonderful mess,

lies, the heart.

To stay balanced and moving forward,

we must acknowledge all of it.

With the heart,

we are talking about something very physical,

and yet, ethereal.

I believe it’s health matters on all planes of existnace

and again, supports the whole.

When we ignore our emotional body,

the part of us that is the gate way to our truest essence,

we get sick.

Our soul suffers.

Creativity is stifled.

We can not look at physical symptoms alone,

we must question the emotional state as well.

The art of allowing is a practice that helps.

When there are emotions that resonate in the heart space,

a sacred pause is required.

Tune into sensation.

Shit the perspective to witness.

Close your eyes.

Breathe deeper.

Sit back, watch and allow.

Soon the tightness around the heart softens.

Space is made.

The heart becomes stronger,

it is now safe from the minds rantings

that we must either fight, die or run.

Instead we show up calmly,

with courage and compassion.

We know the truth.

Our heart needs to be set free.

Each time you work your heart like this,

the process becomes easier.

Just like swinging kettlebells.