Spring Clean: How tidying up the mind first, creates lasting change.

Spring has sprung!

But don’t go bouncing off to the races just yet.

With the exponential growth of light, it’s easy to get ahead of ourselves.

We want all the flowers, vegetables, hikes, picnics, a clean and dust free house, and of course,

a beach bod.

This early part of the spring is the perfect time for decluttering, tidying up and ultimatly, discernment.

It’s not quite time to put plants in the ground or sunbathe,

so take this time for internal cleaning.

After a long winter things become a little stagnate, or habits of mind and body change, as well as our priorities.

This is a good thing, it served us in those quiet, darker days well.

Now that we can get out in the world again without cringing and more sun shining on us, we start to reconnect to the outer world, the nature that we are part of.

Take a couple weeks to do some slow moving inventory.

Make a ritual out of it. This makes it mean more.

Your personal time with nature and being.

Walk around your backyard and neighborhood with curiosity.

How do things look in the light now after the winter?

What’s starting to grow and bloom already?

Can you experience the changes all of your senses?

What does the outside world smell, taste, feel and sound like?

How are you feeling with the quickening of the sun?

Take some time to jot down:

What are your thoughts about the season change?

What emotions does it invoke?

What are the physical sensations of being in your body and in more sunlight?

What do you notice about your natural response to longer days?

What are you eager to get working on?

Was there an activity from the winter you want to bring forward into the rest of the year, maybe see how it can flourish practiced outside?

What can you leave behind that may have been an easy habit of comfort?

There is no real rush to get the house, your body and garden all in shape by any certain time.

It is all in your head, your beautiful brain with the power to change your life.

This year, take a step back.

Become an observer of change rather than diving in before you even see what has transpired.

From this place of calm clarity, observation and assessment of you and your relation to life and the world,

you can choose carefully how you want to spend your precious hours.

My suggestion is take a week to drink more water, go on some nice intentional walks, or simply sit in the sun observing.

Make note of the quality of your thoughts, emotions and sensations in your body.

Take some meals outside with out any stimulation other than what nature has in-store.

Notice if your mind is racing for more.

Allowing the mind to be bored, is how we find presence and gratitude.

It is where great ideas are born and it is how we get to really know who we are.

When you start the process of change from the inside first you build the muscle of discernment.

This is a skill you can take anywhere with you.

A tidy house helps trigger positive thoughts and emotions, but our circumstances are not always in our control.

To be able to be in the change and chaos of life as an active observer is an invaluable asset to own.

I invite you to become an expert at it.

I have many tools to aid in this process to create ultimate ease of change and enjoyment.

Reach out for a phone consult. I would love to connect and hear about what is present for you.

Let’s make the most of the changes around us and in us. A more relaxed state of being might just change the world.

Happy Spring!

Mary

Renovating your mind.

Most people don’t know I own a residential remodeling company.

My role is limited, but I do cut tile, answer emails and review bids.

It’s amazing that people send 10’s of thousands of dollars to fix things that aren’t broken.

We take pride in keeping old homes beautiful and functioning, in restoration rather than demolishing,

but the aesthetic pleasure one gets from a newly tiled bathroom,

is fleeting, at best.

Remodeling in many ways is like coaching,

except managing your thoughts and mind,

will actually create real, long lasting pleasure and the skill to allow for all of life’s ups and downs.

When someone wants to remodel their bathroom they get excited.

They start dreaming about this new luxury.

They start Pinning things,

matching colors, tile, accessories.

By using their mind alone and thoughts, before the demo has even begun,

they are already experiencing more feelings of joy and satisfaction.

They make the plan,

save the money,

and hire a professional.

Together the clients and the contractor finalize practical designs, based on their needs and likes.

They get creative, negotiate a price

and get to work.

There is open communication throughout the process of obstacles and decisions that need to be made.

The clients have work they must do for the final product to be the result they want

and the contractor has to show up to fulfill the contract and hold space to keep the project flowing.

The bathroom is complete and beautiful beyond words.

The clients couldn’t believe that space they once loathed, could be so clean, tidy and almost therapeutic.

Showers are now a spiritual experience of self care and adoration.

However, time goes on, soap scum covers the new glass shower door

and the once sparkling grout begins to fade and look dull.

The luster had been lost and forgotten.

The couple has an argument and unspoken agreements about who is responsible for the maintenance of this

new luxury that was suppose to bring so much joy, taking all of their troubles away.

Debt from the project becomes a source of stress and one of the kids is failing at school.

The only things the shower now offers is a place to hide from the world,

but now it holds with it a gentle sting of the promise of a new day that ceased to deliver.

This tale starts to sound grim, but the point is,

life is 50/50, ups and downs ALWAYS.

No matter how expensive your tile is, or how much money you have,

or how few wrinkles you have or how much you weight, or how many flowers your lover buys you.

Until you invest in your mental health, there is not one thing you can change in your world that will take the sometimes subtle sting of life away.

You have to learn to create your own joy from your thoughts, and manage your sadness through a process of allowing.

Get creative.

Start Pinning the life you Think will make you happy

and start living like the person that already has all of those things.

If your thoughts about them can create a sense of joy,

your thoughts about all of your blessings now can too.

If you can’t quite hit the nail,

hire a professional to help you organize the project of renovating your mind.

My name is Mary Wagstaff, I am a mind body coach.

My mission is to keep the beauty and health of your wonderful mind that already exists

through love, appreciation and restoration, not demolition.

You’ll also save a ton a money in the later route to happiness.

When you find the happiness you seek inside, then lets’ talk tile.


What's your imprint?

Leave everything a little better than you found it.

This is huge.

And actually really easy.

It is how I live my life.

Notice a piece of garbage?

Pick it up.

Grumpy store clerk?

Smile and ask them how they are.

Something fell from someones pocket?

Return the item.

A person needs the door open?

Run ahead to help.

Connecting with friends?

Inquire further.

With a group at dinner?

Wait until everyone has sat down to eat.

Having a meeting?

Put your phone away.

Someone down on their luck?

Stop to say hi.

There are countless ways of leaving the world in better shape.

These are easy and they mean a lot.

Kindness is contagious.

It also makes you feel better about your life.

A little goes a long way.

I want to be a person that notices what needs to be done,

and does it.

Not so I can say I did.

But because I can sleep better at night,

and I grow with more awareness.

Take care of one another and it will catch on.

Lend a hand

Listen deeper

Pay attention

Show up

Lead by example

You’ll be surprised how this changes everything.

Beginners Mind

Before you knew about a thing,

there was no judgement.

Especially in today’s western world,

we seem to be growing up quicker.

There is almost no choice.

Because of the continuous exposure to false pleasures, and pressures to be happy,

we want all of the things at a younger and younger age.

Growing up fast doesn’t mean you are better equipped emotionally,

in fact, I think the imbalance between societal maturity

and emotional intelligence is extremely harmful.

Beginners mind is a concept I have studied over the years through my yoga practice

and other eastern arts and philosophies.

It is an idea that we can shift our perspective

back to before the mind was jaded and judging,

look at the same situation, person or event

as though we are experiancing it for the first time.

This isn’t easy, but a great practice in mindful thinking.

Remembering we are in control of our thoughts in any moment.

The fact is, that each moment IS a new experience.

We prejudge so much of our life,

that we don’t allow ourselves the moments of wonder and awe we deserve,

and frankly, we are stripping that sweetness from the lives of our children.

I have a new motto in my house when things start to get a little crazy.

Stop, take a breath and smile.

It snaps you out of your normal ways of reacting

and allows for new, softer ways of responding to life.

It’s really a breath of fresh air to allow a sense of innocents back into your life.

This technique is very usefuly for our creative endeavors.

When practicing yoga, painting, playing music or even a walk you have taken 100 times,

can you step into the seat of curiosity?

What will be different this time if you are not just going through the motions?

You will be surprised about what shows up and it also takes pressure off of perfection.

Pick one thing you do regularly and for a month,

approach it with eyes wide open.

Bubble Boundaries

I have three year old son.

He is extremely affectionate.

He also uses his need/desire for physical contact as a manipulation tool,

when he wants to distract me from the matter at hand.

It’s very clever.

How can a Mother deny her Childs request for hugs and kisses?

It’s hard, but it must be done.

He also doesn’t fully understand personal space.

He expresses his boundaries, but has yet to understand that I have them too.

We came up with a term in our house called “bubble boundary”.

The more I think about relationships and how offended we can get by the other,

but how little we look at our own actions, I realized, it’s not just three year olds,

it’s everyone.

I don’t need to explain, hopefully, what bubble boundary means.

But what I would like to express is that it’s good to define what your bubble boundaries are.

And, to have a way you can clearly and easily express them to people that pop yours.

People who we think don’t respect our boundaries,

might not actually know what they are.

We spend a lot of time assuming false realities based on our own perceptions of the world,

and not the reality of the others actual thoughts and intentions.

Virtual communication is particularly good for creating these assumptions.

Confrontation is hard.

If you can get very clear to yourself about what your boundries are,

you can express them without worry of too much drama.

Boundaries are necessary in maintaining healthy relationships.

They are personal space limitations we all have and need.

I think if we establish boundaries more in our relationships,

a deeper level of understanding can exist without anger or feelings getting hurt.

Once you have made things clear before an incident occurs,

all you need to do is throw your hands in the air and say,

“Bubble Boundary”, and it’s an automatic non—negotiable pause.

We can not blame others for making us feel bad

when they don’t know what our limits, needs and boundaries are.

It is every individuals personal responsibility to ask for what they need.

If those needs are not met, then it is your choice to direct your energy elsewhere.

If you're feeling the victim by other peoples actions,

try expressing your bubble boundaries, it might do the trick.

What do you value?

Our senses are on constant overload.

It’s more important now than ever,

that our thoughts are strongly rooted in our values.

I think this is true for the groups we belong to,

most importantly, our families.

Have you ever asked your partner, children or yourself, what your values are?

It might be time.

If you never think about them or define them, how do you know if you are supporting them?

When my values are clear in my head I make better decisions.

I bounce back from disappointments.

I take things other people do less personal.

Most importantly, my thoughts are in alignment with my highest self.

This is the fullest and best expression of who I want to be and why.

When we define our values, there’s no guessing.

We are better at attracting others with who are like minded.

We are better at showing up for our loved ones, community and ourself in ways that are meaningful.

Values are things that are of great importance in our lives.

They take priority over other things.

They hold great merit and worth for ways we spend our time at work and at play.

The values I hold of highest regard in my life and what they mean to me are:

Authenticity: the willingness to be vulnerable and bold.

Responsibility: taking ownership of my thoughts, feelings and actions

Compassion: the ability to exhibit empathy for myself and all beings everywhere.

Creativity: expressing the spark of my essence that will never die and connects me to the great mysteries of life.

Adventure: from the everyday routines to off trail backpacking, there is an shift of the heart when you allow each new moment to shine.

If you are interested in creating some real intimacy in your life, this will do the trick.

Get cleat about you.

No more excuses.

No more blaming.

The time is now.

There’s room in this for you.

Let’s ride this wave together.

Why I care.

I believe we are all here with the limitless possibility to create meaning in our lives.

This doesn’t alway mean happiness.

I do think joy however, is a byproduct of a life worth living.

This is different for everyone.

Living an ordinary life full of routine can be mundane or full of magic.

The choice is up to you.

If you approach your routine from the same perspective everyday, it’s going to be the same.

When you open up to the endless possibilities of how you can experience your world,

creativity takes over.

This is the spark of divinity that runs through each of us.

If you don’t stop to look around once and a while, you will miss all of it.

The peace that comes from allowing life to happen and making space for creativity

changes the world.

The only way to truly make real lasting positive change,

is by being a example of what’s possible.

I want nothing more than to see your light shining as bright as it can.

Creativity is your birthright.

I want to live in a world where more peace exists.

This starts with each one of us.

It’s dedicated hardworking.

But nothing worth doing is easy.

You don’t have to navigate the waters alone.

I am here to help you on this path.

There is room in this for you.